Just A Game
by LxIsxJustice
Summary: He loved him so much it nearly filled his heart to bursting even as it wrung it back out into emptiness. All because he knew it was only that: a childish dream. He had to grow up, right? Agni/Soma Songfic to "Just a Game" by Birdy.


**Goodness, my loves, could you be any more demanding? ^_^ Now I've got people from Deviantart on my tail too! Sheesh, if I had known this would be the response, I would have written slash a long time ago. Either way, it would be incredible if everyone who favorited, alerted, or PM'd me would leave me a review. But even if you don't I still have one more story for Agni and Soma up my sleeve. It is so angsty that I yelled at the characters for not listening to me. This time it's Prince Soma who is bearing the brunt of the emotional roller coaster. -sigh- This pair sort of lends itself to angst and hurt/comfort, hm? BUT it has a happy ending, so don't flip out on me. This song was written to the song "Just a Game" by Birdy (It's in the Hunger Games soundtrack). Usual slash and or yaoi disclaimer applies (don't like, son't read and all that) though there is no love scene in this one. I needed a break from the intensity. -bows- Sorry to the rated M lovers! I hope you'll forgive me and enjoy it anyways.**

**Disclaimer: I do NOT own Kuroshitsuji (Black Butler) because I do not have the magic of Yana Taboso or FUNimation. So I won't even bother begging for the rights to the story. I have my-non-existent-pride, you know.**

Prince Soma fled from the townhouse, steps increasing in speed as he heard an agonized shout behind him. _Run, run faster! Can't stop, won't stop, mustn't stop why am I running? Why am I always running?_ His mind whirled through scenes, images, moments that had never connected until now.

_I don't know where I am  
>I don't know this place<br>Don't recognize anybody  
>Just the same old empty face<br>See these people, they lie  
>And I don't know who to believe anymore<em>

Times from home, before they had come to this forsaken country, when he had first met Agni—then he was Arshad—and been rendered breathless by the mere sight of the white-haired convict. He had been merely a boy, no older than fifteen, but even then his heart had been preparing him for the truth he had discovered today.

A memory surfaced from long ago.

"_Agni, I do not understand, why is it that my older brothers bring young maids to their rooms at night?"_

_Agni's eyes had widened at the question, and an uncharacteristic blush had graced his face. Piqued with curiosity at the reaction, Soma pressed on. "Do they play games and such at night?"_

"_N-No, my prince. Though, I suppose it can be viewed as a type of game. Do not concern yourself with your brothers' actions. You will learn in time."_

_Run faster!_ He had to get away. He blindly ran through the twisting streets of London, mindless in his need to escape. He barely saw where he was going, didn't care if he got lost. It was what he wanted.

He hadn't understood why Agni was not being direct as he usually was in explaining things to the young sovereign. When he had gotten a little older, his body had changed and he found himself in desperate need of answers. For some reason, he had not gone to Agni, thinking that he must have some kind of illness that he didn't want his servant to catch. He had looked up his symptoms in the texts of the library, discovering—to his immense relief—that he was not sick, and he was actually becoming a man. The thought pleased him to no end, until he realized all that that entailed.

He looked on others differently, felt differently towards others. He would admire the curves of women, especially Meena, his beloved servant. He also liked the strong backs and toned stomachs of men, finding beauty in many different people. And that had prompted more questions.

_But there comes you  
>To keep me safe from harm<br>There comes you  
>To take me in your arms<br>Is it just a game  
>I don't know<br>Is it just a game  
>I don't know<em>

Another memory filled his mind.

"_Mitul, why is it that I never see men together? I mean, why do men not couple like men and women?"_

_His elder brother had looked at him nearly horrified. "What? Why do you ask such a question, Soma?"_

_The prince shrugged, "I do not know, I am simply curious." His large yellow eyes sparkled with youth, not understanding his brother's shock._

_Mitul sighed, before looking sternly at his younger brother. "Soma, men do not couple because it is against the law. And the act itself is despicable, unclean. You must never do such a thing, understood Soma?" The young prince could feel a tugging at his heart, as though it somehow knew his brother's words were wrong._

_But he smiled and said, "Yes, Brother. I just didn't understand." Mitul laughed, and rumpled his hair before walking off and shaking his head at having such an eccentric brother._

Tears now flowed from his eyes. Yes, this was why he ran. It was law, it was forbidden to long for Agni. He loved Agni, loved him so much it nearly filled his heart to bursting even as it wrung it back out into emptiness. All because he knew it was only that; a childish dream. He had to grow up, he had to become stronger so that these feelings could not hurt them both.

_Pleading eyes that break my heart  
>So homesick I can feel<br>But I know I must play my part  
>When tears I must conceal<em>

Finally, his legs could not carry him at the fast pace any longer, and he slowed, bending to catch his breath, tears dripping from his chin to the cold ground below. _I am such a fool._ He taunted himself. _Even if such a thing was not forbidden, why should Agni love me? I am ignorant, and a selfish brat, and unfit for him. He is amazing; always caring for me even though I do not deserve his attention. Why does he stay?_ Shaking his head forcefully to dispel his thoughts, he looked around. He recognized nothing, no one, feeling more alone than he ever had. He so desperately wished he could go home, back to India, where things would be as they were and he could pretend he didn't feel this way.

He walked over to a fountain, looking at his reflection distastefully, making ugly faces at himself, until he slammed a fist into the water to rid himself of his own image. People turned to stare, but he ignored them and continued walking. _It's so cold_, he thought absently, _I wish I had thought to bring something warmer._ Another memory flashed into his mind's eye, this one from his first day in London.

"_Amazing! It is so beautiful! Agni, what is this?" His hand reached out to touch the white powder drifting from the sky._

"_It is snow, my prince. It falls in England during the winter."_

_The sovereign shivered at the frigid temperature. "It is very cold. Is it always cold here?" _

"_I think spring will take hold soon, and it will be warmer."_

"_Good. Agni, I would like your cloak. I am so cold!" he whined petulantly. Agni smiled gently and walked over, taking off his own cloak to drape it over his master._

"_Jo ajna."_

Soma squeezed his hands into fists so tightly that his nails drew blood from his palms. "And I didn't even care if he was cold as well…" he whispered angrily. "Everything he does is for me, and I—" He stopped before he could complete the sentence, gripping his head and blocking out the emotions coursing through him.

When the pain had subsided, he glanced back up. _I must find shelter. It is too cold to stay out here, and I cannot go back._

Hours he looked for a place to stay, only to be turned away at every inn, every safehouse, due to his lack of money. "I ain't runnin' a charity, fella!" had been the scolding he'd received. Finally, his entire body numb and shivering, he collapsed in an alley, tears having long frozen on his face, eyes seeing nothing as he drew his knees to his chest and buried his head in his arms.

_I'm sorry Agni. I could not even find somewhere to stay. I truly am a failure._

_There comes you  
>To keep me safe from harm<br>There comes you  
>To take me in your arms<em>

He looked up as the snow began to fall, catching the flakes on his tongue, tasting nothing but ash as they melted. So tired…he needed to rest, just for a moment…

xXx

His eyes blinked blearily, registering an odd movement under him, as though he were on a rocking boat in a gentle sea. His eyes tried to focus on the face above him, but his sight blurred. All he could feel was heat: above him, below him, around him. "Agni…?"

"Hush, my prince. We are nearly home," came the deep, soothing voice of his servant, lulling him back to sleep.

When he awoke again, he was momentarily disoriented. Past blended with present, and it took a long moment for him to realize he was back in the townhouse in his bed, sheets and extra blankets piled on him. His entire body tingled with pinpricks from the cold and heat overlaying, but he managed to turn his head to the side. Agni lay kneeling by the bedside, arms beneath his head as he slept in what couldn't be a comfortable position.

_He found me. He found me and he brought me back. He always brings me back…_Soma thought sleepily. _I do not deserve such loyalty._ His hand reached out of its own accord, stroking softly against the mocha cheek, twining his fingers in and out of the soft white hair that was not covered by the turban. Quickly withdrawing when Agni stirred, he blushed at the direction his thoughts had taken. He was so weak.

"My prince…?" Agni mumbled as he awoke. "Ah! You're awake!" Before Soma could even speak, Agni laid a hand against his forehead, sighing in relief when he felt no fever. Silent tears began to drip down his face, burying his face in his hands. Soma, unable to understand, whimpered in distress at the sight of his precious one in any kind of pain.

"Agni? Why…why are you crying?"

A stifled sob wracked through his servant's body, and he whispered, "I am…so glad. So glad you're alright, my prince." He gently took the sovereign's hand in his, pressing it to his cheek, still weeping. Soma could feel the tears against his hand, feeling confusion and misery at having made his love cry.

_Take my hand and my heart races  
>Flames illuminate our faces<br>And we are on fire  
>Blow a kiss to the crowd<br>They're our only hope now_

"Agni, I'm sorry. I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm _sorry_, please, don't cry," he pleaded, his eyes beginning to water as well. He had really messed up this time. This was all his fault, and he didn't know what he could say or do to make this better.

"Do not apologize, my prince. It is I who should beg your forgiveness. I nearly did not find you in time, and you—you were so cold, and I was afraid—" he choked on another sob, pressing his face against the hand he held, before kissing it softly.

Soma couldn't breathe. "Agni…?" His servant shook his head, squeezing his eyes shut in an attempt to rally himself.

"Please, my prince, just for a moment. Just let me stay here for a moment more," he begged. Soma was _so_ confused and tired.

"Why Agni? Why do you want to stay?" it was more than questioning the moment they were in, and Soma knew that the older male knew that. It was a question that had long been buried in his heart, not having resurfaced since the Curry Competition.

Agni did not respond for a long while, simply holding his master's hand against his face and breathing deeply. Just when the prince thought his question would go unanswered, he replied, "Because I love you, my prince."

There was silence before Soma was rather surprised at his own reaction. A hiccup emerged, before he suddenly broke into helpless giggles. The giggles eventually turned to laughter. "Of—Of _course_ you do! You _would_, because you are Agni!" He couldn't calm his hysterics, though they seemed to frighten the ex-Brahman beside him. "And—and you are so good, and of _course_ you wouldn't care that we're both men, or that it is forbidden, or that I can't do anything, or that I'm unworthy of you!"

_There comes you  
>To keep me safe from harm<br>There comes you  
>To take me in your arms<em>

He dissolved into tears, wrapping his arms around himself as though he were breaking apart. "And…that's exactly why I love you. Because you are everything to me…" he whispered. He shivered as he let go of himself, letting his heart feel every emotion it could in this moment. He felt as though his insides were turning inside out and his heart was trying to beat out of his chest, but it was a good feeling.

It became better when strong arms wrapped around him, holding him as close as possible, and warm lips began to kiss away his tears. A hand stroked his hair, attempting to soothe him back into tranquility. A deep sigh sounded in his ear as Agni murmured, "You're right. Of _course_ I love you, my prince. Because you have the most beautiful soul I have ever encountered and I fell to its beauty long ago. Your heart loves with everything it has, and I could not have stopped myself if I had even wanted to. But who better to give my heart to than you, my prince? You have just given me everything I have ever longed for…I will forever work to be worthy of your love. "

He leaned back to look at his servant, reaching up to trace Agni's features, wishing to memorize every detail of his beloved face, before he whispered, "Kiss me, Agni?"

With the most beautiful of smiles, Agni leaned in, brushing their lips together in a soft caress, before pressing more firmly against the prince's mouth. Soma responded almost immediately, taking his time to savor his love's taste and the warmth in his heart, reaching out to embrace him. Their tongues crept out to dance, neither breaking the kiss though air was rapidly dwindling between them.

When they finally pulled away, Soma let his head fall to Agni's shoulder, shaking his head at the impossibly fulfilled feeling that was flooding his body. A feeling that finally, things were right. In this test of life, they had found each other to share every moment, every joy and sorrow, from now, until they took their last breaths. Angels and demons alike, felt a shifting in the world. It was subtle, but evident to those who cared to look. Two souls had been redeemed, and it was by none of the supernaturals' doing. The deities smiled as they gazed upon the humans who had found peace. Their game had been well played.

_And now I know my place  
>And now I know my place<br>We're all just pieces in their games_

**Read and Review dear ones. You're all that's keeping my eyes glued to the screen. I'm fairly certain I'll need a caffeine patch if I have to stare at the computer any longer. xD**


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